Paparazzi Experience

Done with the first day of performance with PAPA 2013!

I made a few observations and reflections:

1) The way the actual performance went seemed to reaffirm the rough theory in my mind. The theory: Usually there will be many hiccups, technical faults, mistakes and all sort of problems during rehearsals/practices. However, no matter how bad they are, when it comes to the actual day itself, everything seems to fall into place naturally; people involved will give their 110% (due to their adrenaline rush).

Somehow and somewhat things will turn out well. I must say I had this thought in my mind during the rehearsals themselves, and I seemed to felt rather indifferent and chill about problems that occurred as I always thought they will be resolved somehow on the actual day. 

Okay, this theory might hold because the people involved took the effort to correct and resolve all those problems they encounter creatively, just that they might not be obvious to the outside observer. So, it is not so “naturally” everything falls into place.

2) Now I understand that 110% efforts (or any other effort >100%) does exist. Yes it may not make sense, but in reality it does happen. People just find that extra bit in them to perform very well on D-day itself.

3) PAPA might have seemed like a waste of time, it still may be. However, I realised it is sort of a positive distraction as well. It provided me with a “getaway” of some sorts; allowing me to be in another world, totally focusing on PAPA itself and nothing else for most parts of the day. The other concerns in my life seemed to have been pushed away. 

Initially I did not feel much togetherness within the props team itself. But now I do. I could feel the sense of common purpose and camaraderie amongst us.

Of course, once PAPA ends, the reality will hit me once again, and I will start learning to adapt and grasp with it. Another period of transition awaits.

4) Emotions triumph reason in decision-making. I realised that most of my decisions recently are mainly made by emotions, rather than by rational reasoning. For some reason, although I tried to think rationally or I would like to think I actually did, after the decision has been made, I realised that it was actually a product of my emotions. 

Sometimes my emotions would just lead me, although I know that it might not be the best course of action. I told myself not to get too emotionally involved in it, but my emotions just won’t cooperate. So it remains to be seen where this mix of emotions will bring me. I definitely hope against a repeat of the past.

Few more days of Recess week and 1 more PAPA show to go! After which life continues!

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The Amazing Rat Race

Yes, it’s NOT a typo. It is Rat Race.

The many lives of the people around me, my friends in University, mainly revolve around one word – RUSH.

I talked to Asyraf earlier in the TR2 room while helping props for PAPA. He mentioned of how fast time flies in University and how many people he knows seem to be involved in so many activities such that he has no idea how they study. Hmm… that basically sums up what many people I know (even myself, damn) are experiencing.

When we enter University, we are told to enjoy Campus life. Don’t just mug. Play hard as well. Go join activities. University is short, thereafter once you go into the working world you can no longer really enjoy yourself and do whatever you want.

Right.

I am not sure if it is a Singaporean thing. But apparently there’s some rat race going on in University as well.

Okay, so why so many people are trying to get involved in so many activities, especially in hall, even though they are not sure if they can cope? So that they can stay in hall the following year.

Yes, that’s the main consideration that they have at the back of their minds. First thing once they enter University is to plan and mastermind a return to their halls in the second year. How to get that 15 cut-off point?

So now they go all out, looking for hall events, or CCAs, to join the various subcomms, main comms or even EXCO to get the points needed, or at least to get the recommendations needed ahead of their peers.

At the end, the result being that we overload ourselves with activities, give ourselves less time to really focus on studies, and most importantly, give ourselves less time to do our own things, those small and simple things that make us happy.

So this brings me to my realisation.

What on earth am I joining a CCA or taking up appointments for?

Is it for the fun of it? Is it so that I can learn something? Is it because I really have passion for it? Is it because I needed points to get back into hall next time? Is it because I needed to feel adequate by having activities to participate in?

What on earth am I doing and why did I join the rat race?

What was it that made me want to take up so many appointments right at the beginning of my University life?

I thought I was supposed to work hard and play hard? But how come now with so many other activities (which by right can be considered as “play”) on top of my studies, what on earth is play?

Now I really do yearn for time to play. To explore. Such as doing random designing, reading up on interesting books about social media etc. I want to spend more time spending quality time with my family, with my friends. Want to play games (wow I still remember them. It’s been so loooong since I last touched any games).

Oh wells. Seems that I have already screwed up quite a bit. Wandered like a headless chicken without directions.

I suppose what I can do now is to evaluate my current position, and then re-plot my life, at least for this year. I need a goal and plan indeed. Guess that’s one reason why I got so lost at the first place.

Now I am still freaking waiting for the lorry to transport PAPA stuffs. I WANT TO GO HOME, CUT HAIR. BUT NOW WHAT TIME ALREADY. TOTALLY SPOILT MY PLAN. Argh. That’s life.

#lifeofaunikid

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